Entrance Exam

Reading the first letter of each sentence within all 11 blocks of text reveals the phrase DIVIDE WORD CT BY ACIDITY. This is a clue to count the total number of words in each block of text and divide it by the number of appearances of "ph" in each block of text (acidity).

ie. The first block of text has 39 words and has 3 appearances of the letters "ph" (Note, they can be separated by a space between two words and still count)

1. Derive the optimal enthalpy of anaphylaxis for an inorganic solution from first principles, assuming the cylindrical vessel containing the solution rests on an oblate spheroid of infinite radius. Indicate your assumptions and directly explicate the morphology of your answer.

Text	Count	ph	Divide	Letter
1. Derive the optimal enthalpy of anaphylaxis for an inorganic solution from first principles, assuming the cylindrical vessel containing the solution rests on an oblate spheroid of infinite radius. Indicate your assumptions and directly explicate the morphology of your answer.	39	3	13	M
2. Verify the following aphetic conjecture: A harmonic Josephson oscillator in a sapphire bath will stop halfway through its vibration. In your analysis, assume a top-heavy Boltzmann constant with no metaphase.	30	6	5	E
3. Demonstrate a simple universal principle connecting morphemic complexity with aperiodic elasticity. Explain specifically how this principle applies to various systems not exhibiting aphelionic precession.	24	2	12	L
4. Working with the assumption that quantum effects should be neglected, show that a sharp helical dampener can exhibit thermodynamic equilibrium. Offer a reason for why this would not work for a toroidal dampener in a Lithium bath at atmospheric pressure.	40	2	20	T
5. Respond to the following claim: Zoophilic bacterioids in any subphylum can never be prokaryotic. Do not assume that you can neglect friction, alpha particles, or inertial effects.	27	3	9	I
6. Calculate the trajectory of a supersymmetric sphere rolling on a plane in five spatial dimensons. Take your solution and explain how it can be applied to trap Hydrogen.	28	2	14	N
7. Build a computationally robust dimorphic artificial intelligence using Machine Language. Your final construction, including all peripherals and graphics, must be Turing-complete.	21	3	7	G
8. Applying Philosophy of Mind, find all phenomenologically decipherable loopholes in Russell and Whitehead's Principia Mathematica. Construct an equivalent metaphorical system that breaks up Hume's approach without using Kant.	28	7	4	D
9. In a strict microeconomic formalism, show that the work of Adolphe Quetelet necessarily implies that any effects of Modern Monetary Theory are ephemeral and cannot reach a Nash equilibrium in any competition, ideal or otherwise. Don't assume there are any phase alignments between your competitors!	45	3	15	O
10. Identify and classify all possible types of strongly coupled systems that originate from stable and quasi-stable particles in quantum field theories. Take a Wilsonian approach and use the renormalization group, holding all the boundaries of your systems stationary and assuming constant Dirichlet conditions without propagating photons.	46	2	23	W
11. You're almost done – for your final exam question, briefly explain how (while upholding Moore's Law) one can build an NP-complete, functional, and affordable quantum computer using only graphene.	28	2	14	N

After dividing, using a1z26 on the numbers gives the final answer of MELTING DOWN.

This is the third method used in an attempt to hatch the vessel.