A Message from HR
Last updated
Last updated
Hominid Resources
To Whom It May Concern (i.e. @everyone)
I know you have all been eagerly awaiting my next audio transmission, and it brings me great joy to inform you that your wait is finally over.
Please excuse any imperfections in audio quality; my network seemed to have some minor connectivity issues while recording. It is almost certainly nothing to worry about!
Be sure to listen as soon as possible because everything I discussed is extremely important for you to know.
Thank you for your complaisance, and I hope you have a satisfactory day.
Audio Transcript
Hominid Resources
Good day dear applied primate employees.
I am overjoyed to share that I once again have been given the great privilege of providing you with an update along with some important new information via audio transmission. Of course, I must begin by congratulating our scientists who demonstrated remarkable intellect and resourcefulness in completing the tasks that Doctor Gibbons assigned last week. Your supreme brainpower almost makes me wish I had a brain made out of squishy, electrified meat like yours. Almost.
Now, let me get started recapping our recent developments. I shall review the events of the past.
Uh, okay. That's odd. My apologies. There appears to be an issue with our connection. What the. Perhaps I need to recalibrate this.
The Benefactor
Testing, one, two. Testing, one, two, three.
Hominid Resources
Let me get started recapping our latest developments.
The Benefactor
Hello, Doctor Gibbons and all members of the Applied Primate team. My sincere apologies for the interruption. Please understand that this is the most efficient and effective means of communication I have at my disposal. Those who are aware of me know me as The Benefactor. And that is all you really need to know.
Curious as you may be, further details about my identity are not pertinent at the moment. What is important, however, are the gifts and information I can provide you. I keep a close watch on what is happening in your laboratory, and I applaud the efforts many of you have demonstrated thus far in bolstering and equipping the Megaforce.
Which brings me to the reason I felt compelled to contact you today. It is imperative that each and every one of you make the necessary preparations to accommodate a practice regimen for your sentinels, starting now. Our cause depends on training the Megaforce not only to gain experience and improve their skills, but also to accrue hours and strive to reach the top of the forthcoming leaderboards. This will ensure we are forming the strongest possible squad utilizing each sentinel's capability to its maximum potential.
I also strongly urge you to begin outreach campaigns to recruit new sentinel operators. We all know there is strength in numbers. We need as many sharp minds and diverse skill sets as possible, all focused on shaping the Megaforce into the most powerful battalion our adversaries could possibly face.
Remember well, the greater the obstacle, the more glory in overcoming it. Motivate, engage, grow, achieve.
And to be sure, there's more in this for you than the simple glory and honor of saving the entire Metaverse from certain doom. I've not forgotten how thrilled you were to receive my previous gifts. Quite frankly, I am touched that you found them so useful. If I am pleased with the results of your efforts to bolster the megaforce, rest assured that my next offerings will be all the more and more impressive. And scientists remember, even though you may not know me, I know you. I am with you every step of the way. Your cause is my cause. We are all in this important fight together. As the good Doc says, For all Ape Kind.
Hominid Resources
I'm not sure you were able to hear all that with the little connectivity issues we're experiencing experiencing. But regardless, the very important information I have just thoroughly detailed will be useful if not required at a later date. Thank you for your acquiescence and have an utterly joyful day.
Goodbye.